Conversations Over Tea: Quarter-Life Crisis

Dinner, tea, and conversation. These three words described the evening that I had. While most people would spend their Saturday nights out and about around town with multiple friends being exuberant, I went to my friend’s apartment, had a quiet dinner, followed with some tea and an excitable conversation.

Crystal ( and I have been friends for the past couple of years  since meeting in high school. While I cannot say that we are the best of friends, we have definitely become close since moving to a new city to start our university lives. Whenever life gets overwhelming or I just need a friend to talk to, Crystal is always there (and usually ready with good food- whether eating out or eating in) to lend an ear.

Tonight was no different. I spent most my afternoon with her in China-Town, eating lunch and buying groceries (cause really, what else would the purpose of going to C-Town be?). We had a bit to chat, then went our separate ways with a promise to go see her apartment and eat her (amazing) cooking later that evening.

Even though it was just the two of us in a quiet sparse apartment, we had the loudest most excitable conversation I think we’d ever had. After not seeing Crystal since the beginning of the school year, much has happened (yet again) to spur on quick and fast words. This night, we had learn a lot more about each other and what has gone on in our lives, and we may have just found another link that connects the two of us to be better friends.

There were many topics touched on, but the two main ones were typical girl conversation about school and boys.

School is the one thing that we have great knowledge about. While it could be argued that we have knowledge in other areas of life, being a student is what we have done best for the past 16+ years (not all reflected through numbers on a paper). Yet there are times that we still struggle when we’re a student. Of course I am grateful to be able to attend an outstanding university and make some of the greatest friends for life, but there are times when I struggle with whether or not moving across the country was the right thing to do. Often, Crystal and I have a lot of “what-if” moments. They could drag on forever. Like tonight. Probably one hour of our conversation was dedicated to “what-ifs”. Being so far away from home and friends, we constantly ask if moving to Toronto was the best choice for us- “What if I stayed in Edmonton?”; “What if I went to another university?”; “What if I took the time to evaluate whether or not university was the best choice?”; “What if I took an extra year to explore the world?”; “What if…What if…What if…”. Often times I find myself thinking along these lines. Every time something goes poorly or wrong (or poorly wrong), I second guess myself and wondered if I “flew the coop” too early. But after talking to Crystal and really thinking about life in university, I am glad that I made the decision to come so far from home. Here’s just a small list of what I have come to solidify in my mind:

  1. I treasure all relationships that are built; I hold more steadfastly onto them than during my high school years. Moving away has allowed me to see who my true friends are. I may not have the greatest number of friends, but the small number that I do rely on, are the greatest people I am blessed with.
  2. I have developed a sense of independency. While I still rely on parents for emotional (and financial) support, being away from them means I have to step up and be mature about the decisions I make. Every decision needs to be thought out and
  3. Life is not about what is taught, it is about what I make of the lessons I learn. There are so many parts to life, but what makes it amazing is seeing what is right in front of me, not how other people perceive it.
  4. Never be hasty in making any decisions, especially ones that will affect a great part of your life. Often times, maybe taking a gap year would have benefited me, but now I can only learn to move forward.
  5. Time goes by extremely fast, so live life to its fullest. The last thing I need is to blink and find myself at my graduation, one step away from moving on into the working world, there is much to do before crossing that stage in life.
There is much to university life than just books and sleepless nights. Up to date I have probably learned some of the most important lessons of my life. Relationships with my friends and families have also been strengthened.
Another topic that came up in our conversation was about guys. A typical girl-thing to talk about. However, tonight, was more about the idea of companionship. How wonderful it would be to be if we had someone to rely on. To be able to speak our mind with them without reservation. To know that you are their top priority, and are fully devoted to you. Love is a funny topic, one where there are tales of grievances but also the most beautiful relationship blooms out of it. There was more to this, but should not be repeated for public eyes.
Out of this evening, the best thing was that Crystal and I had added another layer to our slowly budding friendship. Without her here to talk about any of these topics would be a very difficult experience. We rely on each other for understanding of the past and of understanding how moving away from home has affected us. Tonight, we talked over rose bud tea. This light refreshing, yet fragrant tea cleanses the system and is only fitting that we had a conversation about everything weighing heavily on our minds. Take the time to sit and have conversation over tea. While being able to enjoy a night out in town, sitting down with a good friend to understand each other can be a more fulfilling way of enjoying the evening.

One thought on “Conversations Over Tea: Quarter-Life Crisis

  1. Pingback: Grocery shopping, fish soup and rose tea. That’s how we do it. (+ recipe) | Can you hear me now?

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